Tomorrow will mark our final day. All stuff moved, floors cleaned, paint touched up. We're beyond ready to be finished with this particular chapter so we can move forward with our business. We learned a ton and are grateful for the lessons. We'll miss the daily walk in's and drop by's. The friendly faces and incredible words of encouragement that were given daily. We're eager to see everyone's faces again!
Today we rearranged some stuff at home to begin making space for our business needs. I have to say, I'm absolutely loving my cozy living room for the first time in 7 years! I'd like to get some really cool wall panels I found instead of painting. Once the walls are finished, I'll post pics.
We had a slight slip spill (say it 3 times fast. Lol) over the weekend, so our driveway is looking pale gray (it's asphalt). Oops. Our neighbor had to wash his vehicle. Everyone can tell what we do, just by driving by. LOL
As for business: We've got some REALLY exciting new items coming for the fall and Halloween seasons! I'm trying to pare down to fewer art forms, or figure out how to combine a few for finished and commission projects. Now that I'm able to think clearly again, I shouldn't have a difficult time coming up with a few special types of pieces to focus on.
I'm personally going through a bit of anxiety. Most people know, I have some bad arteries in my heart. I had a heart attack about 3 weeks ago, in early August (not my first). They're always followed by some anxiety and me staying quiet. What people DON'T KNOW, is that leading up to them, there are a lot of signs and symptoms that even I miss. They come on and increase over a period of months. Was I unusually short or did I seem depressed or hopeless? Preoccupied or lost in thought? Am I not caring about anything as much as I usually do? Am I exhausted and mentally scattered? Did I forget something that was important? Is my behavior or communication a bit off from my norm? Am I complaining about losing hair? Do I constantly seem more overwhelmed or stressed? Chances are, my brain has decreased blood flow because my heart has decreased blood flow. It's physiological. It effects all body functions and systems, especially my mental and physical functioning. If I don't seem present, chances are, something is coming (heart issues). It's not something I have any ability to stop or control. If that were the case, losing and keeping off over 80lbs for 4 years would've prevented the last 2.
Yes, it does affect relationships. Those who are closest, usual recognize it, because they know me well. Those who are newer friends, soon stop speaking to me or begin distancing themselves. I'm not technically suffering from a specific mental illness that I can take medication for (I've been to therapists and psychiatrists and still go). I can't be upset by anyone who can't or doesn't understand. It's frustrating enough for me to live with and try to understand. Those who've been affected by it, I understand.
That first one did quite a number on me, psychologically and there's no doubt about me never being the same person I was before. I was petrified of everything for a very long time afterward. My entire world seemed to stop turning back then. Today, I accept that I may not live a really long life. I'm 49 now. I am focusing on creating and doing all that I can to heal the psychological challenges caused by my condition, as well as the portions of my heart muscle that were damaged. My cardiologist has become my friend, of sorts. I trust him and his guidance implicitly, so the rule is no stress for as long as possible. Since it's taken 3 weeks to finish moving, I will be taking a short sabbatical to rest and recuperate before jumping back in with both feet.
If you know me even a little, I hope this makes the mud that is me a tad bit more clear.
Love n light. T❤